‘Jane’

I remember happy, 8 happy years just me and my dad and then it all changed, suddenly. He had a partner and she was very pregnant and moving in. I didn’t know her, I’d never met her but it seemed okay at the start she didn’t really bother with me but as soon as baby came I became an inconvenience, she hated me, she lied to my dad about me and she had no problem showing her contempt with a fist or whatever came to hand even my dad was lifting his hands.

When he walked into our lives I was ripe for the picking, he was kind, he made me feel special and offered me a safe haven at his home. It was very subtle the way he did it, he exposed himself to me on several occasions and when I first touched him he made me think I initiated it and that was the start of the abuse, there was no aggression or violence and I let it happen because I thought he loved me, I was 10.

By the time I was 16 I had been abused by 2 other men, I was in and out of care, self-harming, drinking, taking drugs and generally being rebellious.